Don't worry, be happy

I’ve been back from Libya a couple of weeks now, and reacclimatised to the British way of life, which as we all know predominantly involves searching out its most negative aspects. OK, we all know the country’s bankrupt but do we have to keep banging on about it?

This continual drip, drip of misery and gloom has been pushing me closer and closer to an abyss of desolation from which I may never escape. However, and this may come as a shock to regular readers, Slash the editor dragged me away from the edge.

I sent him the first 10,000 words of my book to review. I should add here that the words I sent are not just any old 10,000 words. These are the actual words that I believe should be in the book. In other words, the best words I know, in the finest order I could put them into.

Much to my surprise he loved it. This was pleasing. His appraisal was measured, incisive, and positive. It made me happy. To celebrate I did something unusual. I went shopping for a tee shirt. I came back with three.

At first, probably like you, I never connected these seemingly unconnected events. Why should we? I mean, what has my book review got to do with a commercial transaction?

Then it dawned on me. The only way out of this crisis is to be happy. Because when you’re happy, you buy tee shirts. This transaction sets off a whole chain of positive commercial events...

Now, Slash is by nature, and he won’t mind me telling you, a curmudgeon. Indeed he is the only person I know who would cross a road to avoid a smile. So if he can make someone happy, anyone can.

I’m not much of a campaigner but I can see the spin off merchandise already:‘ Make someone happy buy a tee shirt,’ tee shirts. ‘Don’t be a Mug,’ mugs.

But the most important thing here is to make someone happy by praising them. Don’t walk past a road sweeper without commenting on the tidiness of his patch. Pat the next policeman you see on the shoulder and tell him how much safer you feel for having him around.

If you want to save this country, make someone happy enough to buy a tee shirt. It’s your duty.

If you have listened to as many business consultants as I have, you’ll know this campaign would be considered a ‘bottom up’ approach. But I’m also thinking ‘top down.’

What we need is a focal point. Someone we can rally round. We need a Happy Czar.

Slash isn’t too busy at the moment…