SOS

The word ‘like’ used to be a very useful word. It was an excellent compromise if you didn’t love or hate something, or a great way of explaining what an object or event was similar to. Sadly, these days it’s been demoted to the somewhat dubious role of sentence filler.

These fillers are words that are thrown into sentences by people who have limited vocabulary but need to maintain an innate desire to be verbose. Yes, I’m talking about young people.

An example I think. I heard the following on the train the other day: ‘…he was, like, so fed up, so I was like, well, if you don’t stop being so miserable, I’m like gonna like walk off, and he got like so angry.’

Naturally, I blame the Americans.

But I’m being unfair to single out that great nation because the sentence finished with the same rising inflection so favoured by Australians – you know the one I mean, it makes you feel like every sentence should end in a question mark. So really I blame the telly. More specifically soaps, reality TV and imported American canned laughter programmes that end each episode with a moral middle class message.

I fear we’ve lost ‘like’ forever. It’s joined other victims of the linguistic genocide metered out by the young. Like ‘go’ and ‘went.’ These were useful words back in the day when you wanted to describe motion of some sort. Today, of course, they litter the teenage lexicon: ‘…so I go…blah, blah, blah… then he went… blah, blah, blah…’

It’s almost as irritating as the ubiquitous sentence extension, ‘ya nah whaaat ah mean…’ so beloved of people who wear baseball caps the wrong way round and their jeans at half-mast.

Meanwhile the word ‘said’ languishes in a fetid linguistic backwater dying from lack of use.

Now, you might think this the ravings of a pedant, but think about it: if we give up on the word ‘said’ we’re not just losing a word: we’re giving ground in the battle for the English language. Ignoring the loss of that tiny four-letter word is equal to sacrificing the Isle of Wight.

I realise some people will say that’s a good thing, but what falls next in the war on words, Hampshire? Before you know it we’ve lost London. If we don’t fight for the Isle of Wight we may as well pack up now and move to Newcastle – a region that gave up English a long time ago.

I only mention all of this because I haven’t had a campaign of any sort for at least 2 blogs and that just won’t do – we need a crusade to Save Our Said. Yep, its time, (again), to get off your arse and fight for what I believe in. Start petitions, write to your thieving bastard MPs, organise a march. If you love the English language. If you trust in words. If you have just a single ounce of decency, get out there and protest.

If you don’t we won’t just witness the Isle of Wight sinking into the English Channel, we’ll have a ringside seat when the English Language receives the uppercut that knocks it out forever. So do your bit if you want to be speaking English this time next week. If you don’t use it, as they say, you’ll lose it.

Ya nah whaaat ah mean?