Toxic Hillbillies

Now, it’s true to say that I have rarely, well, never actually, been described as vivacious. But I was last week – well, if I want to be entirely accurate, my writing was, but as I consider it to be extension of my being, ergo, I am vivacious.

And whom do I have to thank for this unexpected tribute? Well, indirectly its those kind folk of the Deep South in the good ole US of A – that quadruple XL of a country where a man without a cent can grow up to be President – providing he has the backing of enough Billionaires…

But what am I twittering on about? Sadly, a story of rejection, greed, and political chicanery. This sorry tale starts with the American administration’s desire to turn America into a home owning democracy. Altruistic? Not a bit of it. Any Government will tell you that if you get the citizens in a house, preferably with enough debt to sink the USS Missouri, they become more productive. Gotta work hard to pay that mortgage or you’re homeless…

Of course the logic falls down when you lend money to people called Earl who are married to their sisters, also called Earl, so they can buy a shack and play the tune to Deliverance on their banjos, while swaying back and forth in rocking chairs on their highly geared verandas. These people aren’t called Hillbillies anymore: they’re called toxic debt.

Now consider the UK publishing industry. Last year 134,000 new titles were published. This year its likely to be a little over half of that.

Why? It’s simple. Earl never had any intention of paying his mortgage, and after a year or so of experiencing running water, and a toilet he could sit on, was quite happy to move back into the caravan.

Which brings me to the subject of my vivacity. This compliment was actually offered by the agent who read my book recently. She liked it. Enjoyed the writing, suggested I might have some talent – but she didn’t feel she could sell it to a publisher on my behalf in the current climate… unless I was famous of course… which I won’t be unless I get published, or get on Big Brother and humiliate myself in front of the morons that watch it.

But no matter, rejection is part and parcel of writing for a living. I experience it every day – sometimes editors like my proposals, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they like them but it’s the wrong time (did something similar recently, readership not quite ready for the idea yet, etc. etc.), and sometimes they think they’d be absolutely crap at any point in their readership cycle.

So, I’m not downhearted – there are hundreds of other agents and publishers out there and I will be tracking them down soon.

In the meantime I’ve tried a different tack and uploaded part of my book to a website – www.authonomy.com - this is a site run by Harper Collins one of the biggest publishers in the UK. The idea is simple. People can visit the site and read any of the authors’ books and then grade them. The best ones move up the ‘best seller list’ and get reviewed by editors at Harper Collins – if they like you enough they offer you a publishing contract.

If you want, go and visit and look for my book: The Reunification Express. Be sure to leave a grade, or comment – but only if you’re honest – if you don’t like it say so – like I said rejection is part of writing – I can take it…