What's the time?

Here’s something to ponder: why do time management courses take so long? I attended one once that lasted 3 days. If they’d applied some of the techniques they were teaching me they could’ve fitted it into 2, probably 1 ½. But the bigger question is, why be trained in time management anyway?

The obsession with time is a British thing. It’s not the same in other countries. In Libya time is simply a concept: Libyans would consider the idea of managing it more fanciful than turning the Sahara into a giant egg timer. In Oman working hours are 7am until midday, 4 hours for lunch then 4pm until 6pm. In reality the 4 – 6 shift is merely used for socialising. It’s the Muslim State’s version of the cocktail hour.

They have no time, if you’ll excuse the pun, for time management in Asia either. Quite simply, if it’s daylight it’s work, if it’s dark it’s sleep. What’s the point in trying to manage that?

You might be forgiven for thinking that the laissez faire attitude towards time is a geographical thing. As soon as you step into France, and by varying degrees, it escalates the further east you travel. But, you’d be wrong. In fact, if you look in the opposite direction you’ll find a nation that think clocks are merely pieces of furniture – the Irish.

How do I know this? Well, lets look at my friend Nomis who, rather helpfully, married an Irish lady called Lynda so that I could use the event to highlight my point. After a whirlwind romance lasting 17 years they rather impetuously decided to get married last Sunday – naturally Lynda was 20 minutes late for the ceremony.

But, she was only 20 minutes late on the English side of the chapel. On the Irish side she was simply beautiful. So, while we were tutting and looking at our watches, they were smiling and clicking cameras.

In Lynda’s world, time has the same qualities as an elastic band. She famously displayed this elasticity at a dinner party I attended. On this occasion she arrived over an hour late. This story doesn’t, in itself, move the issue of her time management along much, until I tell you it was her own dinner party and she was never further than 50 metres from her seat at the head of the table.

Over the years Nomis has developed a Lynda proof time management system.

He’s taken to wearing 7 watches along his wrist, all set at different times. The one nearest his hand is set at the actual time and the one nearest his elbow runs four hours slower. The ones in between are set at various intervals that he adjusts depending on the situation. Unimportant times, such as when to meet him for lunch, for example, necessitates a wider range, than say, arrival at the wedding ceremony. As soon as she turns up he looks at the watch nearest her arrival time. In this way he is able to kid himself she is never late.

OK, this might not be an infallible system but it’s better than the time management courses I’ve been on…