If we measure concern by the size of the Governments advertising budget they are currently obsessed with the nation’s alcohol consumption. Estimates vary of course but it’s reckoned that booze costs the NHS around £3 billion per year.
A worrying statistic but I don’t think the Government needs to fret.
According to the inter-world-wide-netty thing pubs are closing at a rate of 52 per week: another worrying statistic. There is only reckoned to be about 60,000 pubs in the UK so applying all my mathematical know how I can confidently inform you that we will be out of pubs in a little over 20 years: another worrying statistic. According to my calculations we will run out of beer before the oil wells run dry: another worrying statistic.
Revenues raised from alcohol duty are estimated to be in the region of £5.7 billion annually: another worrying statistic. A loss to the Revenue but at least the NHS will no longer have to deal with drunken sots from the North East attending A&E on Saturday nights asking for Newkie brown bottles to be removed from their rectums.
Another worrying statistic is the number of times news stories use spurious statistics to hammer home a story. According to the BBC Charter 95% of all news stories will be backed up by a statistic by 2015. I’ll stick my neck out even further and suggest that an organisation with a vested interest in the news item will supply the statistics 99.9% of the time.
So, my advice is to keep salt by your favourite telly chair so that you can take a pinch from it whenever you hear another worrying statistic.
But, don't get too glum. Remember, statistics are simply lies wrapped up in numbers.
And that, my friendly blogees, is 100% guaranteed 99.9% of the time.
PS – please excuse my lack of blogging lately but I have been working hard on my new venture www.wedothewords.com and haven’t had time to write my blog. Statistically I am better off working for the new company than I am writing this blog but only when you factor in that no one pays me to read this. However, if every reader donated £1 for each initial viewing and 50p for 15% of the additional viewings thereafter I might be able to give up work. Statistically the first person to make a donation gets 75% more affection from me than the remaining donators, although the first 9 after the initial donator do make me feel warm inside, but only on a Wednesday, and only then when it falls on a Tuesday, which statistically it is more likely to do than a Monday, except in February, which as we all know is a statistical anomaly…
4 comments:
On average, your blogs attract just 0.17 comments per blog. I assume that's a particularly worrying statistic for you. I am therefore pleased that this comment now takes your average up to 0.23 comments per blog and is well worth a celebratory pint (if you can find a pub that hasn't closed down yet, of course)
Cheers
Slasher
I like to think of my blogees as the silent majority, which 83% of the time they are...
I am only posting this to help increase the average comment numbers.
Mike, enjoyed the last blog however you seem to be moving into new territory with your last post -statistical analysis which borders on my own accountancy role. Now I like double entry as much as the next Welshman, but can you please get back to the ranting?
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