The Apathy App...

Many of you will know of Slash the Editor: he is the curmudgeon with horns who sits on my right shoulder whispering ‘cut it – too wordy’ in a deep monotone whenever my fingers hover over a keypad.

Occasionally though, he comes out with something insightful, such as the other day when he pointed out that no one actually reads my blog anyway. I think he has a point as I often throw some of the subject matter into conversations with blog recipients only to find a blank face staring back at me. Such is life for those who pose with prose.

I suspect most of you, especially the ones not reading this blog, have written material in your home that has never been read. Some people just don’t like reading. I have a friend Terry, who shall remain nameless, who has never read a book in his entire life: ever. This is quite astonishing to me but it doesn’t seem to bother him.

And anyway, books are so last century. The future is digital. My blog is digital and so will all your books be one day. This worries me. How are people who don’t read anything going to be able to boast about it if they can’t display books on their shelves that have never been opened?

Naturally I have a solution. Well, in truth Slash does. He thinks the digital world is in dire need of an Apathy App. Doesn’t sound much but here’s the clever bit: you don’t bother to download it. That’s right, it ticks all the digital boxes. If you hate reading simply don’t download the Apathy App. Genius.

So for those of you that don’t read this blog, follow this link and don’t download anything www.werewolfofhampshire.blogspot.com (but you might like to look for the link showing Rab C Nesbitt struggling with a call centre…).

Now, Slash may be many things but he is not stupid. He knows he’s onto a winner here financially. Literally millions of people have not downloaded the Apathy App already and even at the discounted retail price of £1 he anticipates he will retire at 4pm this afternoon.