Ding Dong...

I read with interest (that is to say I read) the comments from an erstwhile friend, who comes from the West, where banks are crumbling faster than short crust pastry.

Here in the Orient they don't have such troubles, and titter gently when you produce a tentative Dollar to exchange for the mighty Dong. But once 'Donged' up you get the sort of respect that is so important in the East.

Since becoming a Millionaire I have developed a new found swagger - the sort associated with someone who has so much money he's run out of pockets to carry it in.

I have taken to pushing it about with a barrow, not only is this pratical it helps me to blend in with the traffic and narrows the possiblity of my being robbed by poor people. It does, of course increase the risk of serious injury but its a risk wiith taking.

I have also grown a Ho Chi Minh moustache, and following hours of practise, can look inscrutable at the drop of a hat (conicle one).

All these things ensure my safe passage throught the city I now call home.

And now away - I need to do battle with Johnny America, his Dollars, and the bank.

Still money talks, at least mine does, it draws quite a crowd...